There’s a certain feeling that I do encounter sometimes when I reach states of immense pondering or neutrality. I do not know how to describe this feeling with a certain phrase other than “peaceful sadness.” It seems paradoxical by nature; however, I do believe it indeed exists. I believe it is indeed possible to be both at peace with yourself and the world around you, yet simultaneously feel no other emotions except for the tiniest hint of melancholy.
Some might say, “You’re not sad. You just feel happiness in minute amount and you think that that is sadness.” If someone said this to me, I would disagree. I think that if you feel sad, you actually don’t feel happiness in any form in the moment in which you are sad. Sadness, often brings negative thoughts. If one were “peacefully sad” as I call it, they would have reached a point in their emotional spectrum where they are fully aware that they have no reason to feel sadness and yet still feel a bit glum, while acknowledging that they do not feel consciously happy.
When in this state, they also become able to meditate on negative feelings and thoughts without fully embracing the somberness attached to them. This state of mind is quite a unique one. We often like to think of emotions as categories and we sometimes forget that emotions are more like a three-dimensional space in which no one emotion leads directly to another and yet any one emotion can be reached from another.
I actually felt this tonight. What actually sparked this state of mind was simply willing myself to feel this way. Oddly, I enjoy this state of being. It allows me to let my mind wander, while still being fully attached to my current and healthy entity. However, it is quite hard to keep myself there. In fact, if I will myself to feel this way, I require some stimulus to keep me locked in this state of mind. Unsurprisingly, I use music as my stimulus. On the other hand, if I happen to naturally come into this frame of mind, it is because some thought has pulled me there and I need to ponder on it and understand it before I can leave that mind frame.
Interestingly, I would say this emotion (or state of mind really) is more efficient at contemplating and understanding complex topics than, let’s say, “peaceful happiness.” When in a state of “peaceful happiness” (at least for me), I often wish to only think positive thoughts and cannot easily shift my thinking to contemplate topics that are not joyful in their natural context (and remain happy.) The beauty of this grey zone of emotion is that the mind can balance two conflicting forces in order to achieve goals.
In any case, this feeling is a wonderful one. I am not here to downplay or to keep you from avoiding and detesting this feeling. In fact, I encourage you to give it a try. I must caution you however, for it can easily go from “peaceful sadness” to simply sadness. It is a feeling that teeters between something dangerous and some beautiful but if one is to be pulled to one side, let it be beauty (peacefulness.)
Anyway, just wanted to come and talk about that for a minute. This is another one of those posts that are unedited and spark of the moment. I have said all I wanted to say for the moment. Until next time, cheers!
Have you ever reached this grey zone of the emotional space? How has it helped you? Do you think it is a positive thing? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Please leave your comments below.