The Underwhelming Reality of July 5th

So, yesterday was my birthday. I turned 20 years old. While some might be excited for this, I was not. There were no specific reasons that would make the day bad in any way; however, there were also no specific reasons that made the day good either, and that’s my problem. I suppose, I’ll just inform you of how my day went and then I’ll try to explain my reasoning for feeling the way I did yesterday.

I woke up and went to work, on my birthday. I had never done this before and so it was quite a surprise and a new experience. I also had to open at my workplace and so had to be up incredibly early to go to work. To add to it, I had to walk to work yesterday rather than being driven. Sure, it doesn’t sound like anything to complain about and I’m sure in all honesty, it isn’t. I, however, just did not want to go to work on my birthday after being tired the day before, and having to skip meals because I didn’t have enough time to get ready. So, not only was this all new to me, but I was cranky and hungry to add to it.

Once I actually made it to work, I realized it was going to be a slow day and my intuition was correct. We had very few customers in the facility but as always, I was jovial with my customers. It also happened that I got tipped as well, and I was thankful for what extra money I did receive. After an 8 hour shift at work, I went home.

When I got home, I crashed from exhaustion. I took a 2 ½ hour nap and then went to eat dinner; of course, my family tried to engage with me since they hadn’t seen me all day. While I was not in the mood to really be around anyone, I was glad they did try to see how I was and everything. After dinner, we celebrated my birthday. It was quite underwhelming, just like my mood. Then I went upstairs and relaxed in my room.

While that is not an exciting birthday in any sense, it was somewhat peaceful. I suppose I should be thankful for that, and I am. I do wish that it was more exciting; however, these types of results are the norm for my birthday. Since my birthday is in the summer, often times, many don’t have the time to celebrate it with me.

I mean, yes, my family celebrated it with me but that is to be expected. My friends, however, none of them found time this year to even wish me a happy birthday except for maybe 2. I understand that people get busy, or that they forget; these things happen to the best of us. Still, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was hurt by the lack of love this year.

In fact, the underwhelming recurrence of my birthday is kind of repulsive. I don’t even look forward to my birthday anymore because I am well aware that the likelihood of anyone but family celebrating it with me will be under 5%. I mean, what’s the point of making a fuss about your special day when no one’s around to fuss with you. This pattern I have grown accustom to.

That might then beg the question: “Why are you so hurt this year because no one celebrated it with you?” To be honest, I shouldn’t be but I am. It could possibly be stemming from the fact that I have been less happy than normal recently and it has continued for a while. It could also be the fact that maybe I wanted this year to be somewhat different but that is not the case. It’s possible that I am just an underprivileged human being or maybe I am just becoming accustomed to what adults experience on their birthdays. I have no idea since this birthday was a little different from normal.

Either way, that’s how I felt yesterday. While I possibly sound whiny and entitled, I accept that because that’s how I felt. My birthday is just a day that I never look forward to because there’s no reason to look forward to it. My birthday is just like any other passing day on the calendar. And now, I’m another year older and still without anyone else to make me feel good about it.


My birthday might have been crap, but I’m still content with talking about it or just birthdays in general. If you like, you may leave a comment below.

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9 thoughts on “The Underwhelming Reality of July 5th

  1. My birthday last September was also very underwhelming. It was very depressing actually as I got ill the evening before and had to spend the night in the hospital. It was just a week since I’d started university in a new country far away from home, and had just met a couple of people. It was scary and lonely, but the kindness of few really made my day. Strangers. They can be amazing sometimes.

    I’m sorry you had a not-so-special birthday this year. Turning twenty is a big deal. You don’t sound whiny. You sound very real.

    Belated happy birthday.

    I hope I remember your birthday next year 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you Cat. ^_^ You know, it seems you probably had both a better and worse birthday than I. I didn’t end up hospitalized but you also got to spend time with people that warmed your heart. Well, thank you for the belated birthday. I appreciate that very much. And when September comes around, I’ll try to at least let you know I remember what month your birthday way. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re birthday is your special day. Not everyone else’s special day. I spend a lot of my time far away from my family and close friends so I can never expect anyone around me to care about my birthday, I also don’t have it posted on fb, so hardly anyone remembers, but I kind of like it that way. Because it’s just for me. When I think about my birthday I picture treating my self to a delicious piece of chocolate cake, and if the weather’s nice I will try to go somewhere that feels beautiful. And most of the times it’s about relaxing with a peaceful mind. So I usually schedule the day off work if possible. Sometimes it also means getting away from the people around you. If you have one or two close friends let them know a week ahead of time that you want to do something small but fun, whatever your common interests are, then do that. Big parties can be over rated anyway. Otherwise if you just like videogames or reading, make sure you take the time thoroughly enjoy doing just that, because you’re celebrating you!

    Like

    1. That seems very accurate actually. It was my special day. And I happen to be the person that like small groups instead of big parties. I will say, the day may not have been special but I still received the love I deserve; it was just a few hours late. Still, a bit of positivity could do me some good next year.

      Liked by 1 person

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