Thoughts From The 4th Of November (2015)

Hi there Wonderful Listeners.

I feel like it’s been quite a while since I’ve come and just talked to you guys. I feel like life has kept me so busy or so stressed that I’ve just shied away from trying to communicate with you. Well, I’m taking  a bit of my free time, while I’m in a peaceful mood to just kinda update you on life.

Lately, I’ve been swamped with schoolwork. Since I am in school for art, I have to constantly be making it. Well, I guess you could say I’m both doing that and not. I really only work when I feel the motivation and I go hard on it when I’m doing it. I suppose maybe I would benefit from learning to work when I’m not motivated but I know how my work compares; it’s better when I’m motivated than when I have none at all.

The deadlines and work that have been put in place have really taken a toll on me and my mental health I suppose. I’ve been in a dark place as of late and art is helping me to relieve some of my anxiety and stress (I mean, you can clearly see it in my art.) I’ve been trying to bring myself out of this rut/hole but with little success. However, I still manage to scrape by and for right now, that’s good enough.

The problem is that I’d rather not be rushed in life right now. I’d much rather take my time and just take life as it comes to me than to be rigid. I’d rather be flexible because that’s what my heart desires. Although, lately, I’m starting to feel refreshed and lively again. I feel like a weight is slowly being lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again.

These feelings might have something to do with the coming storms in my area. It’s been quite cloudy and rainy where I live and I’m enjoying the change of scenery. Normally, it’s always sunny and blue where I live but that’s changing with the seasons. As we move closer to winter, we move away from the beauty of the sun and towards the beauty of its absence.

Yes, I’m rather enjoying the change and I’m understanding more of what I want. I want simplicity and serenity. Yet, I know something more too; I crave drama and all that encompasses it. While I am a pacifist, while I prefer peace over drama, I still cannot help but submerge myself in it. Drama, you could say, gives me more purpose than I already have. I’ve already spoken about my therapeutic nature so of course, I suppose I gravitate toward things needing to be mended.

Anyway, I’m slowly moving towards a better mood and I’m grateful for this change. I will allow myself to be happier and to not be so depressed. Yep. It’s a wonderful decision to just soak in the surroundings and just enjoy them for what they are (at least the peaceful ones.)

Well, I suppose that’s all that’s on the mind for right now. I’m running a bit dry so I will speak with you another time! I do hope you’re enjoying life and that all is good. So, until next time, cheers!

When was the last time you soaked in your surroundings? Do you get drawn to drama like me? Leave all your thoughts below!


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