Hey there Wonderful Listeners.
If only you could hear my sighing. It’s been a long couple of weeks trying to finish up my last bit of this semester but I made it (insert celebratory noise here!) And now that I’m free from the chains of education (even though only for a short while) I have much more time on my hands.
Recently, I just relocated back to my parents’ house for the holidays. I gotta say, “home” hasn’t changed much. I’ve only been back for a couple of days but everything has pretty much stayed the same. It’s as if time stands still around here but it doesn’t at my own residence. Weird. Anyway, I bring this up because one part of me wanted something fresh to be waiting for me when I got back but nothing was. I suppose time just keeps moving forward.
However, I will say this. Since being back, I’ve noticed that everything has grown old. My parents are older now (but still look good!),and my dog has gotten so old and gray and she isn’t as mobile as she used to be. My parents’ house looks old, like all the color has drained from it. I suppose since it is winter time that everything is dying and retreating so everything looks desaturated and void of color but, I don’t know, my childhood red-brick house just looks old.
I would like to say that I am happy to be back, but it’s not exactly happy. It’s much more disappointment than anything else. Why? Well, I’ve been used to a life full of color since living on my own (and by that I mean not with my parents.) I actually live in a college town where I have the freedom to do what I want for the most part and I am self-sufficient. I’ve met so many wonderfully vibrant people, seen some gorgeous and secluded places, and I enjoy making more friends. It’s just so wonderful and to come home to “home sweet home” and to have a stillness that never used to be there is unsettling.
Then again, I know that my home is always loud. My family is always loud and a great time. I truly am blessed to have the family that I do. But when it’s just me and my immediate family, it kinda sucks. Like, I only spend most of my time with my little sister (probably because she’s so accessible and we are best friends.) My mom tries to remain relevant but she’s having difficulty with that and my dad is reserved so that doesn’t help. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents but it’s just that I recognize the clear divide between my vitality for life and theirs.
Home. I really miss it. I’ve made a home in my college town with one of my high school friends, a new person (now a friend and a lovable one at that) and the oddball who only really talks to me. It’s a weird household but we make it work. At least when I go to that home, it feels like home.
But here back where I grew up, nothing is the same anymore. Everything is so different. But what I was trying to say was that “home” has a particular sound and it’s the sound of laughter, loudness, and a surplus of profanity. When that sound is gone, home isn’t home anymore; it’s just a house with people in it.
I know that the holidays are here and I should be very happy but I’m not quite there yet. I’m still optimistic though because I want to have a better holiday than I did last time. I will get there. I’m not in a rush but I’m just simply stating how I feel.
Well, that’s just a part of life isn’t it? It keeps moving forward and changing and you just have to go along with it or turn into a relic. I plan on moving along; no glass cases for me, thank you.
Wow. I feel like it’s been such a long time since I’ve made a post like this one. I guess I’ve been so busy that I’ve had to step away from being a real blogger. I missed the blog-o-sphere! How have you guys been? Feels like forever since we last sat down and had tea (or coffee or whatever.) Well, that’s all I wanted to say though.
I will let you guys know that I will try to post more often since I’m on break. I will also be dropping a few notices about changing of my site as well. And some other stuff might happen too so just be on the lookout for that. Who knows what December will bring? Gotta stay tuned to find out!
Until the next time, cheers!
Have any of you finished a semester of school recently? How do you feel about the changing patterns in life as time moves forward? :Leave all of your thoughts below!