The Many Versus The Few: A Vent On Friendship

Hi Wonderful Listeners.

You know, I had a thought not too long ago about my friends. It was a thought that I wasn’t expecting to have, especially since the topic was about friendships. But what the thought basically amounted to was this: friendship works like a downward slope. You start at the top of the slope with very few friends and your level of intimacy with them is extremely high and as you gain more friendships, the level of intimacy between every friend gradually decreases until you have minimal amount of intimacy to call the friendship real.

I honestly think this might be true. I’ve noticed since coming to college that I’ve gained quite a number of friends and I am grateful to be given the chance to get to know each one of them. However, I also have a slight desire to gain a huge amount of friends. I know in the back of my mind already that only a small group of close friends are all you need but I still would like to know what it’s like to have a huge amount of friends.

I did run into this situation only recently being home away from college, where I realized how many friends I really did have. Then I began to think about it. I thought, “You know I am a person that puts full effort into a friendship. It’s not worth it to me if I don’t put 100% into it.” But then I questioned myself, “How can you put 100% of yourself into each of your friendships if you have a lot of them?” I figured that you really can’t. I know; I’ve tried before. I spread myself so thin that no one really got the attention that they deserved.

So I really do recognize that having a lot of friends really isn’t in your best interest, not only for you but for the other people as well. No matter how charismatic and spontaneous and full of life you are, you simply cannot be everywhere at once and give everyone everything they deserve simultaneously. It won’t happen; you’ll fail miserably.

This also made me think about something else. While I should focus on my close group of friends and really put my effort into them, I do love my options. Sometimes you need to take a break from the usual gang to appreciate other people who have stepped into your life but may not be playing a major role. And I like that idea. But the problem with the minor characters is that often they are easy to forget and lose track of. Trust me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost a person’s number, social media, email or simply deleted their contact information because I couldn’t remember who they were.

It’s a really bothersome situation to be honest. I would only be blessed if I could somehow, miraculously, give everyone 100% in large numbers; but I can’t. And because I can’t, I must make the decision to choose my path: the small few that claim my heart OR the many who can never get close enough to it. For me, the choice is obvious. I choose the few. I would take having one person who can be my angel when needed over the many who can only say “I hope you feel better” any day.

So why am I talking about this? Well, it was on my mind and it wouldn’t leave me alone so I made sure it left me alone; I wrote it out here. Maybe I will have to sacrifice the privilege of options for loyal but that’s not a sacrifice that’s too hard to handle. Some part of me only wishes that I knew who would be minor and who would be major; it would save so much time in filtering them out.

And I’m going to leave it there. I don’t have much else to say but I really needed to say this. My heart grew heavy from this thought and now it feels light as a feather once more.

I do hope you got something out of this post, whatever it might be. Until next time, cheers.

Which side do you prefer? Do you think it’s possible to have a lot and give your all to each person? Leave your thoughts below.


10 thoughts on “The Many Versus The Few: A Vent On Friendship

  1. In the past, every time I upgrade my phone, I lost my contacts…and I am a digital type of person. So I understand that….but I am so happy to report, Apple, specifically their iPhone finally fixed it! I’m so happy after going through this for the past 10 years, I finally merged my old phone into my new one. Even all the apps (well, except two) merged over.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think two close friends are enough for me. We would be the three out-of-world musketeers. Maintaining intimacy among too many people can be hard because not everyone can give and be as open as we might be to them

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is true Pinecone. Not everyone will reciprocate the pove we show them and that’s a part of the process. You have to find the ones who really care and stick with them. They are worth the search.
      Me, well, I’m lucky enough to have a nice selection of close friends which I won’t trade the world for. 🙂


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