Greetings Wonderful Listeners.
I noticed something rather interesting last Friday. I did have a debate with myself as to whether or not I should make a post about this; I decided now would be a good time to do it. I’ve had a few days to think about it and I still feel the same way. I take that as a sign to blog about it.
What I’m referring to is about how I think about conversation. Last Friday, I went to Hooters with my friends just to socialize and be in their presence. I was looking forward to being around them, even though I wasn’t going to order anything.
However, once we sat down and began to talk amongst each other, I noticed very quickly how I felt about it. I felt absolutely bored. Completely and utterly bored.
The context for the conversation was that we were talking about Dungeons and Dragons, work stories, and relationships. Particularly, I am not one for Dungeons and Dragons. I do like a good story about one’s experience at work as well as relationship updates. However, these work stories did not intrigue me and I already knew about the relationship being discussed.
Normally, I would entertain these topics with my friends. But with my recent change in persona, I just don’t even find it worth it to play-face. I don’t even care to try and entertain things I don’t care about anymore. Of course, while all of this conversation was going on, I just vacantly smiled and pretended like I cared. I really didn’t but I didn’t want to ruin the mood.
You know, I could have changed the subject so that I would feel enthralled to participate but I didn’t. Anything that I’m interested in talking about is for intimate and private settings, not for a table in the middle of Hooters on a Friday night. I guess that’s the issue with my dilemma: I talk about deeper topics, and often, they cannot be discussed in public. Or, if nothing else, they lead to topics that cannot be discussed in public.
Well, I take wins where I can. I accept that my requests cannot be met in most circumstances (perhaps that’s why I’d rather stay-in with friends and be in their presence?) Still, it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t care about topics that don’t intrigue me. And as an adult in my life now, I won’t even bother to.
Yeah. My tastes are changing. What I don’t care about, I won’t waste time on. I used to try and pretend like I cared but now, I just don’t even want to pretend. I simply don’t like or care about what you’re saying. Sorry! I would rather happily sit vacant with an empty stare, thinking to myself and disconnected from the interaction; my interest is always peaked in my own mind.
In case you’re wondering what I look like when this happens, here you go.
So that’s all I had to say. Not sure if you got something out of that, but there you go. Aside from that pessimistic (or assured if you prefer) attitude, I hope you all are doing well.
Until next time, cheers.
Do you pretend to be interested in something you’re not for the sake of friends? Leave all your thoughts below.