It’s been rather interesting as of late. School has just begun not too long ago (literally a few days ago) and I’m already thinking about so much stuff. Honestly, so much has been on my mind, even without thinking about uploading my diary entries.
I cannot quite form these thoughts into sophisticated anything as of yet. They remain quite raw, but I like that aesthetic in many aspects, especially writing. As you know, most my writing consists of “raw” material as I find it easy to present my ideas this way.
Well, I’d rather not be sidetracked with such a triviality as that. Let me get to my point about what’s been on my mind.
So, I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about what I will be doing after I graduate in May (or June depending on what happens.) And, honestly, I say the same thing time over—I don’t know. I truly don’t. Certain people, even those who are artists like me, have ideas about where they want to go. But not me. All I know is that I have a passion for taking pictures that seems to drive my life (along with writing amateur musings, and forming relationships with people.)
I don’t know what exactly I’m going to be doing after college, but that’s OK. Well, I keep telling myself that anyway. Although, being frank, the constant pressure from that numbing question is making me paranoid about what I’m going to do when I graduate. I just don’t know. I’m not trying to rush to figure anything out either. I just wish people were as laid back as I was about it. Who knows? Perhaps I’m just not being an adult about my situation…
But that is only one of many things to worry about. I’m also worried about what I’m going to for Thesis II. Last semester, I focused the social issue of anxiety and its representation. However, I came to the realization that I couldn’t finish it in just half a year’s time. I need much more time than that if I’m going to pursue that project, which means finding a new source of inspiration or concern.
Ugh. It’s daunting. I felt lost for so long about how I was going to achieve success in my Thesis I project but I eventually figured it out. Although, once I did, I realized that I would need to work overtime to catch up for all of the lost time. Either way, I made it. But now, I need to do that all over again, and make it just as good, if not better, than my previous Thesis project. Like, why me..?
*shakes heads* But things could be worse I suppose. At least, on one hand, I still have time to figure some things out. At least, well, I have the pleasure of being excited for my classes this semester! I’m taking the following:
-History of Documentary Photography
-History of Modern Art (yawn!)
-Expanded Media III
-Senior Art Exhibition
Yeah, so those are exciting to me! Well, most of them are anyway. I admit that Thesis can be scary but once I find out what I’m doing, I’ll be fine. I have faith in myself to that extent at least. History of Documentary Photograph is exciting because Erina Duganne is teaching it (and I LOVE her as a professor.) Also, I’m excited for that class because it will challenging but highly relevant for me to keep in mind after school.
History of Modern Art can go suck it though. It’s already a bore. It doesn’t help that I have the class right after my lunchtime (which means I’m sleepy) nor does it help that the professor is quite, how should I say, all-over-the-place. She needs to stay organized, and maybe act a bit more excited as a teacher. At least I have most of my photo friends in there to help me get through it.
I’m excited for Expanded Media III because I love the subject, and I have Liz again for it! A joy already. Plus, I get to do a bit more advanced stuff so that’ll be exciting to see. And as for Senior Art Exhibit…well, I just have to do my personal best for my graduating show. I can only micromanage other people so much.
But I suppose that’s what has been bothering me lately. It’s life but I’ll get past this. I’m so close to the end of another chapter of my life. I’d like to finish it out strong. I can worry about the next chapter once I begin to cross that bridge. I suppose in the meantime, I’ll start figuring out what I can do with what I have to make my life meaningful to me. I’ll leave my late nights for those thoughts however…
Well, that’s all I got for you guys. Don’t know if that was relatable, relevant, or entertaining but hopefully you got something out of it. Do take care. Until next time, cheers!
Are you starting up school again? How did you feel when you were entering your last semester of college? How did you feel about what would come after you finished college? Leave all your thoughts below!