Hello Wonderful Listeners…
Um, how do I explain myself? Well, you remember that post I did some days ago about my crushes? Well, I have some new feelings that have fostered and I’m not quite sure how to feel about them. So I figured why not just vent them out?
Well, I’m going to specifically talk about Chris this time… So, I found out some new things about him after observing him for the past little while.
I’ve noticed that he rides the same bus route as I do, which means that he doesn’t live very far away. I’ve noticed that he’s often in running clothes a lot, which suggests that health is important to him in some capacity. (He does have a fit enough body to reinforce the idea.)
Also, I came realize today actually that he’s a reader as well. I walked into class and there he was, reading a book. I don’t know if maybe it was for fun, or for study, but what it did tell me was that he does take learning and knowledge to a serious point. He had no obligations to be reading prior to the start of class yet he chose to. Not only that, he didn’t want to be interrupted.
I actually respect that thirst for knowledge a lot. Or, if nothing else, it tells me that he’s always going to be learning something. That’s a good thing. I also realized today during the lecture that he’s extremely well-spoken, yet casual (which I like.) That’s also a plus.
So what does all of this have to do with what I actually wanted to say? Well, here’s the thing: I’m not really crushing on him for the appearance anymore. I mean, I validated that he’s handsome but that’s not where my head is at anymore. In fact, I still would like to get to know him but not for the sake of satisfying my eyes. It would be for the sake of satisfying my mind.
It’s really interesting for me to notice this change. I’ve gone from drooling over him (not literally) to admiring him. It’s funny because I think about what would’ve happened if I had approached him when I was still drooling. Would I have gotten to this point, past the superficial? I don’t know.
It shows me that crushes actually evolve. They change with each time you see the person and as you know of them for longer. Your opinion of them changes and that affects your desire for them in some capacity.
But I think I got to this point because I imagined the worst case scenario for the hypothetical of Chris and I dating. He’s attractive but then I find out that I don’t actually like his personality. I find out that he’s not as wonderful as I fantasized him being. That simple thought, made me recoil. Suddenly, I couldn’t see Chris as perfect anymore (nor Daemond for that matter.)
Yet, it’s impressive that I still hold the desire to want to get to know him at least. This reminds me of why I usually dismiss looks in the first place. Normally, because I’m far too concerned about what lies beneath, and how your brain works, and who you are as a person. That is what is important to me.
So you know what? I don’t feel bad for wanting to get to know him. And… I don’t feel bad that I still think he’s attractive. I suppose that I’m just happy that I’m not into him because of just his looks. I guess that’s what makes me happy about this evolution. So…yeah.
OK. Um, I think I’m out of stuff to talk about. That’s really all I wanted to talk about. My hope is that I can find some way to maybe get to know him. Perhaps, I can invite him to a party or something somewhere? Maybe I just ask him if he would like to grab lunch sometime? I dunno. How do you go about asking to get to know someone (organically at that) that you are crushing on but don’t want them to know you’re crushing on them?
Huh… That’s a toughie. Well, hopefully I figure that out. OK. I’m done. Cheers.
Got any advice for me on how to go about this predicament? Should I just be upfront with him? Leave all your thoughts below!