It’s me, again. And I’m pretty much done talking about Chris at this point. Just to be frank, I was informed today that he is not an available option. But guess what? I don’t feel bad about it, like, at all.
Now, let me go a bit further into this. Some of you might remember that I handed him a note a week ago. Well, I finally got tired of waiting and I just decided to ask what he thought about the note. I was kind of fed up with the anticipation of it all.
You know, Chris was just how I had expected him to be. He was very straightforward and respectful about the entire situation. He said that he was seeing someone but that he was flattered by the approach. He did at least say that he’ll see me around (which is pretty obvious at this point.)
I mean, I give him credit for what he did. He knew obviously that that note was more than just cold feet of someone trying to make friends. No, he knew, that I liked him. I mean, why else do you give someone a note that you hardly know asking to get lunch with them? Clearly you’re interested right? Duh.
What this at least told me was that this was good practice for me. The fact that I had to reapproach him instead of him approaching me with his answer, told me a while ago that one of two things were true: he wasn’t interested, or he was taken. I know that it’s the latter.
But you know what? At least my judgment about who he isn’t wasn’t completely wrong. He is a good-hearted person, and he’s more than likely queer. He didn’t say who he was seeing, but the fact that he didn’t say that he doesn’t “swing that way” also means that there might have been a possibility if circumstances had been right. (I’m probably reading too much into it.)
Admittedly, I’m glad that this butterflies in the tummy thing is done with. I don’t think I want to send a note to anyone else in the future. I’d much rather just talk it out instead. The entire waiting game was just too boring and too stressful; though it was comfortable, it is not something I think I’ll do again in the near future. (George, your advice holds really well at this point…)
At least by confronting the person of interest directly, I get an answer right then and there. I mean, I am a patient person but, I suppose even eye candy can make you sick to your stomach eventually.
But all of the weight is off my shoulders. To be frank, I did try to justify to myself that it’s OK that it didn’t go anywhere by saying that I don’t need to be in a relationship anyway. But I know that was just to sate the pain of the experience. Hey, it’s all good. I know better anyhow.
Now, I can get back to other parts of my life. Although, maybe it is true what they say, “All the good ones are taken.” Whoever gets to see Chris often like that, is pretty lucky (at least from my perspective.)
But I’m rambling. I am feeling much better and I’m more comfortable with saying something now. Once you feel the sting once, feeling it again the second time isn’t half as bad. My options are still open and so someone else now has potential. Although, it is sad that all of my fantasies of Chris have died today. He’s just a handsome guy who is not mine…
What was your first rejection like? How did you take it/deal with it? Leave all your thoughts below!