A Heart Unfulfilled, Dying, Living

3:58am. I can’t get to sleep no matter how much I toss and turn in bed. I just want to fall asleep, but my mind is reeling. I just want to turn it off. I just want this pain to go away.

What pain? The pain that’s been plaguing me ever since I got back to San Antonio. It’s been nagging at me and I’ve just about reached my breaking point. I’ve been trying to cover it up with my actions, my excuses; all to no avail.

I’m a failure. I feel so lost and like such a disappointment. I feel amputated from certain parts of myself. I’m so lonely. I’m so conflicted. I want to cry. I have a blanket covering my head right now.

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