Today has been a rather compressed day. When I say that, I just mean that time flew by today and I didn’t have much perception of it. Regardless, there is something that I have been thinking about and I do want to talk about it (although I’m not sure how much you guys will want to reciprocate conversation.)
See, I’ve been thinking about myself a lot lately. I’m always asking myself why I’m so interested in myself, my psyche, my physicality. I’m asking myself a lot if it’s a matter of simply wanting to grow or if its egotism/vanity. The side of me very much interested in other people would like to believe that it’s certainly not vanity/egotism.
It’s currently 3:24AM where I am. Of course, because my sleep pattern has been thrown off as of late, I’m falling asleep at decent times yet waking up in them middle of the night unable to go back to sleep.
Well, tonight I found myself thinking about a number of things. I thought mostly about what I’m going to do to keep myself entertained (you know, something to fill up my time with meaning.) I woke up yesterday and I felt like nothing important really happened. I just kind of drifted through the day, like a ghost.
After it reached 1AM and I found myself unable to sleep, the house quieted, and my night-light on so as not to consume vast amounts of electricity and wake anyone else in the house, I started letting my mind wander.
So… it’s Sunday. And even though it’s 1:17AM, I’ve somehow found myself at my laptop stringing together words on this blogging platform. Well, I’d like to come and say something rather small and then I’ll be on my way.
I’m at a loss for words. Ever since moving back in with my parents, I feel a bit weird. I feel, well, weird! I don’t know how to explain it very well. Perhaps, it has something to do with my position as a person in the household.
I mean, since I’m a recent college graduate (whoop!), I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. My life dynamic has shifted greatly, and rather quickly at that in such a small amount of time. Only ten days ago, I received my diploma, and now, I feel like a lost child again. (To be fair, I never quite stopped feeling that way.)
It’s been a while hasn’t it Wonderful Listeners? Well, um… I’ve got a lot of things to say. But I’m not going to say them all at once. No. If I did, heh, well, none of us would live to see tomorrow.
OK. Perhaps I should stop getting distracted. Well, I am back. The Pineapple lives. And Carlos… yeah, he’s doing pretty well too. He’s definitely got a lot to say. Wait, I said that already didn’t I?
Wow. You know, that leads me to what I actually want to touch base on—I’m so out of practice in the blogging community and I’ve lost a lot.
I mean, I haven’t posted in so long and have been so busy and have been stockpiling all of the things I want to say, but I can’t even get a proper greeting out to save my life. Well, all I can do is try right?
So, I’ll be honest. I don’t expect that anyone is around to see these posts of mine anymore. I feel like with how distant I’ve been over the past year, no one is around to listen to me anymore. I may very well have to start over from scratch.
Hey Wonderful Listeners…
Can I be honest with you all for a second? I mean, really honest. I’ve run into so many people who I’ve begun to like in ways of infatuation, and it’s kind of killing me on the inside. I mean, it makes me not even want to love sometimes…
Ah. OK. Let me back up. First, I should start by saying that I’ve noticed that I caught feelings for some of my closest friends (who, as far as I know, don’t feel that way about me.) I don’t know where these feelings erupted from but I don’t have the patience for them anymore.