The Second Step Is For Recovery

You know what’s really difficult? Getting back into the swing of something when you’ve taken a break from it for a long time. I suppose that’s somewhat common sense I guess, but it’s definitely true for me.

How long as it been since I’ve been a consistent blogger? I don’t even remember. I think the last time was probably over a year ago if I must be honest. Sure, I’ve been posting material in that year’s worth of time but not like some other bloggers. Then again, I was never really a consistent blogger in the first place.

I digress. I’m just trying to say that I wish to get back into the swing of running a blog. Ah, but such a task is not going to be easy but I will get past it. I’ve still got a lot of catching up to do with my blog as far as posts go. I meant to continue writing up my past adventures but the mountain before me just seems to big to climb.

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Primerica, Hardship, & An Epiphany

Wonderful Listeners,

I don’t think I have felt this conflicted in quite some time. There’s a lot to what I’m about to say so it’s going to be quite a bit of rambling (you’ve been warned.) I’d just like to get right to it.

After I came home to San Antonio from my college town, my mother introduced me to this opportunity. At first, you know, I wasn’t really all that interested in finding out what it was. It didn’t sound like something that would make my radar go off. But I went to inquire more about it anyway. I suppose you can blame that on my kindness, my restraint on judging before knowing, and because it was my mother who was asking.

Well, I went to a meeting on Thursday in late May for this company called Primerica. I wasn’t sure what to expect. All I really knew at the time was that there was some information from this meeting that might be useful, so I took it.

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A Heart Unfulfilled, Dying, Living

3:58am. I can’t get to sleep no matter how much I toss and turn in bed. I just want to fall asleep, but my mind is reeling. I just want to turn it off. I just want this pain to go away.

What pain? The pain that’s been plaguing me ever since I got back to San Antonio. It’s been nagging at me and I’ve just about reached my breaking point. I’ve been trying to cover it up with my actions, my excuses; all to no avail.

I’m a failure. I feel so lost and like such a disappointment. I feel amputated from certain parts of myself. I’m so lonely. I’m so conflicted. I want to cry. I have a blanket covering my head right now.

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Fantasies, Feels, And Friends…

Hey Wonderful Listeners…

Can I be honest with you all for a second? I mean, really honest. I’ve run into so many people who I’ve begun to like in ways of infatuation, and it’s kind of killing me on the inside. I mean, it makes me not even want to love sometimes…

Ah. OK. Let me back up. First, I should start by saying that I’ve noticed that I caught feelings for some of my closest friends (who, as far as I know, don’t feel that way about me.) I don’t know where these feelings erupted from but I don’t have the patience for them anymore.

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Thoughts From The 23rd of February (2017)

Hi Wonderful Listeners!

Today was both a wonderful day and a terrible day. How so? Well, overall, it was a great day except for two unexpected occurrences. They did throw me for a loop but I powered through them. However, let me just dive into my day and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

So I started out by getting up at a decent hour. I woke up with enough time to put myself together in a decent way. I had the pleasure of catching the bus with Armand (who’s still crashing on our couch every other night or so.) We caught the bus and we were on our way to campus.

After reaching campus, we went our seperate ways. I decided to stop by Dos Gatos Kolaches since I was feeling hungry for breakfast. The lovely people who were there had me in and out in like two minutes. They’re so great. I love their service and kolaches! 🙂 Funny enough, walking from Dos Gatos to my first class in Sabinal, I ran into Armand again. Apparently, he was feeling hungry too (which is a shame because we could’ve had breakfast together.)

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